Monkee Spit: An Essential Ingredient In All Recipes

[fuzzybluemonkeys]

So, long ago and far away (in the 90s!), my sister fed the stray cat that hung out in the backyard, and as a result, Stray Cat left the very best kitten from her entire litter in our backyard.



I'm also pretty sure he was the runt of the litter.
Even taking our large breed prejudices and weight fluctuations into account, he always had his tiny baby paws and tiny baby face.



Lady hated him on sight (which was not entirely unjustified given his later tendency to go after her). Whereas Ringo decided to take him on as a Padawan Learner and teach him the ways of over-eating and laziness (Ringo just gave him the one paw "I am huge so don't even try it" smackdown when he got obnoxious).





Which leads us (somehow, in a very roundabout way) to his name. Technically, he was named after Tobias from Animorphs (which my sister generously allowed to be shortened to "Tobi" to help ease my confusion over having been pronouncing the name wrong in my head). And then I had delusions of him being Tobi-wan Kenobi which never really stuck, and then it all went down the tubes when he started climbing like a little monkey up the wooden support pole in the kitchen all the way up to the ceiling.



He continued monkeying on (the hey hey we're the Monkees spelling came later).



Until PUs cruelly declawed him. Blech. I hope his erstwhile claws haunt them and scratch up all their stupid furniture.



And well, you'd be evil too if someone ripped out your fingernails.



Anyway he was rescued from the evil PUs' clutches by a brave knight and taken to the Land of Marys on an epic journey that involved getting lost on Bellona, a demonic street that stops and starts and quite possibly intersects itself creating a hellish vortex of crossroads magic.
And that's how Bellona became Monkee's patron saintdemon/war goddess.



And he lived happily ever after with his favorite bite victim person/princess (a.k.a. my sister).





There's a Monkee-shaped gap in the world now. And the world is poorer for it.

One last poke for the Monkee Face.



"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch." - Leo Dworken