shallerdoo, where are you?

my sister has apparently dropped off the face of the earth. it's been 4 days. she hasn't been online, i tried calling but there wasn't even a machine that i could leave a message on. and i know there is one because dad was playing messages while we were there. so what happened? even if i have the wrong phone number, you'd think she'd be online. is there anybody out there who can hear me? or did you get shot through a wormhole? alien abductions are always fun unless they impregnate you with their spawn. that never seems to turn out well. so the real question is: if you were abducted by aliens, were they the French ones from Mars, or the traditionally alien looking ones from that Taken miniseries? are you being stored so that Voyager can find you in the Delta quadrant with Amelia Earhart? or did Starfleet peeps take you to the future so as not to contaminate the timeline? and you know, take care of whales or something. ooh, maybe you're in an alternate universe. does Mirror, Mirror me have a goatee? or am i the captain's woman? in which case ew. though i suppose the severity of that 'ew' depends on the captain.