fuzzybluemonkeys: (dorktastic)
is the title of an episode of Falling Skies.

I'm just going to put that right here in my pile of Badass Episode Titles next to "For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky".
fuzzybluemonkeys: Your silliness is noted. (alpha)
Leave them a note telling them that they are awesome.

Someone saw my [still under construction] TARDIS book and left this note:

fuzzybluemonkeys: I just read the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and (oh really)
And because I was sewing some with embroidery floss, I have decided that endbands are like friendship bracelets for books.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)
The universe got very, very fat.


And it smiled. Because that's what goofy Ringos make you do.
fuzzybluemonkeys: Smith & Jones (Mickey & Martha) (partners)
Eventually, when The Hobbit movie[s] come out on DVD, I'll be expecting a fanvid set to Leonard Nimoy's The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.
Fair warning.

(I'd also like to see Benedict Cumberbatch serenading Martin Freeman with the song, but I think that's a bit less likely.)
fuzzybluemonkeys: Smith & Jones (Mickey & Martha) (partners)
Because I'd probably have to write it myself, and I'm far too lazy.

But anyway, Sherlock(BBC) AU/Fusion with the Wizard of Oz!

So Sherlock is the Tin Man and John is the Scarecrow (bearing in mind of course that the Tin Man and the Scarecrow had their heart and brains all along). And Mycroft is the Wizard, and Mrs. Hudson is the Good Witch of the North, and Moriarty is the Wicked Witch of the West. And I'm leaning towards Molly* as Cowardly Lion and Lestrade as Dorothy

*Or possibly Sally as she tends to be all blustery/potentially compensating for something, and it would make more sense** for her to be on the Yellow Brick Road of Crime or whatever the hell, so yeah, probably Sally

**"sense" being a relative term at this point
fuzzybluemonkeys: I just read the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and (oh really)
Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. )

Let me sum up: 20 episodes of Rod Serlingy goodness with 6 of those never before seen by me. And as an added bonus, I didn't get interrupted by wrestling (for shame, SyFy, for shame!).

*Okay, 99.9% less because they've got ads for other CBS shows on at the time like Wanted Dead or Alive starring Steve McQueen and The Danny Thomas Show.
fuzzybluemonkeys: (dorktastic)
[It doesn't really fit with the rest of the Statement of Purpose, but Shal asked for some enthusiasm, and this is what I came up with.]

Books are awesome. And by "awesome" I am referring to the original "awe-inspiring" meaning of the word. Even the most basic of adhesive bindings has the ability to create new worlds. From the lowliest mass market paperback to the most ornate custom handbinding, books are all the same at their core: purveyors of information, sharers of ideas, collectors of human thought. Books are the original internet; the first way to spread concrete ideas and preserve them through generations even after the cultures that wrote them have been lost. And yet, for all that we have been told not to "judge a book by its cover", by its outside, by its appearance, the covers and bindings of these books are what hold them together and protect them. Without adhesives or sewing, books would just be stacks of paper. Without anything to connect the pages to each other, they could be easily separated and lost, destroying the assembled bookly whole.
fuzzybluemonkeys: Anything you can geek, I can geek greater (geekery)
My mind leaks like a sieve
Releasing all the things I thought I knew
Replacing them with new ideas to lose
My eyes see blind as bats
So not at all
I hear
Like a riot
Loud and louder and loudest
Someone misplaced the apocalypse

I sorta feel like the last two lines should be the beginning of a different poem/story, but I don't know what happens next.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (gate)
[personal profile] gigglingkat and I had the following prompt conversation:
Kat: "Want a prompt to eat your brain too?"
Me: "Sure. Though to be honest, I might warp the prompt to go with an idea I've already had."
Kat: "oooo... OK then - your prompt is to make a TV Show out of the idea you have. GO!"

And away we go... )
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (truth)
Yesterday's Shirt: "ZOMBIE eat flesh"
Yesterday's Movie: Zombieland, FunnyAwesome.

Today's Shirt: "The Boogie Man Is Afraid Of Me"
Today's Movies: Dawn of the Dead(remake), VingRhamesAwesome.
Land of the Dead, RootForTheZombiesAwesome.
Quarantine, CreepyAwesome.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
I am taking Vacation Days this Thursday and Friday for the sake of my sanity, and since it's Halloween and I've got a whole lot of unwatched DVDs courtesy of Swaptree (I ♥ Swaptree): it's time for a horror movie marathon!

My only definite plans so far are:
Thursday: Go to the movie theater to see a Zombieland matinee,
and Saturday: Watch Army of Darkness during the usual SciFi Saturday timeslot because SyFy is playing some Ghost Hunters gobbledy-gook instead of a crappy movie.

My options for the rest of the marathon are as follows:

Never seen:
-Land of the Dead
-Chronicles of Riddick
-The Faculty

Never seen in a non-EditedForTV capacity:
-Dawn of the Dead(Remake)
-Pitch Black
-The Forgotten

Seen, but I could always watch it again *cough*ArmyofDarkness*cough*:
-Night of the Living Dead
-Dawn of the Dead(Original)
-Ginger Snaps
-The Mummy

Seen more recently, so will probably skip:
-Shaun of the Dead
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)
And I do:

But it fails as a holiday card cause it's too damn hard to mass produce.
fuzzybluemonkeys: winged fuzzy blue monkey (silly)
Other than clasps for a box

Or spokes for a bicycle

Anyone have any other ideas for alternative paper clip usage?
(I also use unbent and washed ones as cake testers)
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)
So sometimes that lullabye about how Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird starts running through my head. The trouble is that I only know the opening lyrics:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird,
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring...

And that is the point where I forget what comes next and start making shit up:

And if that diamond ring should crack,
Mama's gonna buy you a Cadillac,
And if that Cadillac won't start,
Mama's gonna buy you a beating heart,
And if that beating heart should stop,
Mama's gonna buy you a traffic cop,
And if that traffic cop should die,
Mama's gonna buy you an apple pie,
And if that apple pie should rot,
Mama's gonna buy you a cooking pot,
And if that cooking pot should burn,
Mama's gonna buy you a flowered urn,
And if that flowered urn should break,
Mama's gonna buy you a wooden stake,
And if that wooden stake should split,
Mama's gonna buy you a first aid kit,
And if that first aid kit won't heal,
Mama's gonna buy you a spinning wheel,
And if that spinning wheel should prick,
Mama's gonna buy you a fried drumstick,
And if that drumstick clogs your veins,
Mama's gonna buy you a flying plane,
And if that flying plane should crash,
Mama's gonna buy you some V8 Splash,
And if that V8 Splash should spill,
Mama's gonna buy you a daffodil,
And if that daffodil should wilt,
Mama's gonna buy you a highland kilt,
And if that highland kilt should tear,
Mama's gonna buy you a grizzly bear,
And if that grizzly bear won't growl,
Mama's gonna buy you a hooting owl,
And if that hooting owl won't hoot,
Mama's gonna buy you some drugs to shoot,
And if those drugs don't make you high,
Mama's gonna buy you tsetse fly,
And if that tsetse fly should bite...

This is why it's really for the best that what little maternal instincts I have are directed at cats.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
The "NOW!" can be roughly translated as follows:
Now, dammit! Listen, if those whiny bitch machines don't haul their Mighty asses out here right this instant, I'm selling them all as scrap metal. Ya hear me? SCRAP METAL!
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (truth)
How does this work?
Well, it goes a little something like this:

Me: What do you think about Zombies vs. Werewolves?
Me: I think the inevitable Zombie Werewolf would be AWESOME!
Me: But would it be the result of a Zombie getting wolfed out by a Werewolf bite, or a Werewolf getting zombified by a Zombie bite?
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (travel)
Because I am a super dorky nerdy geek-thing.

Because bad special effects are somehow more palatable in black and white.

Because Rod Serling is a strangely attractive man.

Because the Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi is a holiday in its own right.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (transport)
He was totally there!
Live and in person!
Neither evil nor dead!
Well, maybe a little evil.

See that orange blob in the front there?

Bruce Campbell!
The stressful city driving and visibility-impairing rainy foggish nightmare and Curbs of Doom and obnoxious squealing fanbelt were all totally worth it. Because I got to see My Name is Bruce which was hilarious and awesome and so very, very meta and Ted Raimi and a Shatner-insult for the win! And then the totally awesome Bruce Campbell himself came out for Q&A and it was awesome.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (travel)
Well, technically, I've co-opted the crickets except now they're flesh-eating* instead of having their chirping drive people to homicide (we'll save that for the ice cream trucks).

**It's not like these things strive for realism.

Anyway, the commercial goes a little something like this:
-clip of cricket swarm devouring someone
-clip of Rachel Luttrell uttering her soon to be immortal line, "Flesh-eating crickets? You've got to be kidding me."
-black screen with only the title, "CHIRP" in green accompanied by 'crickets chirping' sound effect.


Jun. 24th, 2008 07:25 pm
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
What with wracking my brain for all that it might remember about Transfomers yesterday, I sorta noticed the I'mSurprisedTheyDidn'tSue level of similarity between Megatron and Megazord from Power Rangers (both in name and general transformationiness).
This then got me thinking about Power Rangers in general, and how even though we made fun of it a lot (I'm sure Shoshona would be just shocked to learn this), we still watched it.
And then it occurred to me that either my enjoyment of Power Rangers was an early sign of my current fondness for cheese/craptastic scifi movies, or watching it in my more formative years somehow innoculated me against the horrors of "acting" so atrocious it needs to be put in quotes and cardboard special effects.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)

I mean seriously, I wander out to my car this morning, hoping there's not frost to scrape off (thankfully there isn't), and instead I find it covered in bird shit. And while I'm coming up with theories as to why the vengeful birds would choose my car as the ultimate toilet, it occurs to me that despite there being hordes upon hordes of homicidal birds in The Birds there is nary a spot of bird shit to be found. These birds will attack you, try to peck a hole in your head, but they will not defecate on you or your personal property.
So, either homicidal birds no longer have bodily functions to take care of, OR the birds become homicidal because they can't take care of their bodily functions.

And thus constipation leads to homicidal birds attacking everyone, The End.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (truth)
John Connor has to send Kyle Reese back in time so that Reese can impregnate his mother and Connor can exist and be so instrumental in saving the human race from annihilation that the machines send a Terminator back in time to kill his mother (thereby preventing John from existing), such that John must send Reese back to save Sarah Connor and, in the process, father him.

Oh, and when the Terminator has all the fleshy Arnold bits burned off of him, the animation is so Raimi skeleton. Hee!
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)
The diamond may be my birth stone, but I'm still not inclined to give a royal drenn about them (other than the laser aspect because: lasers!)(not to mention the depressing "people died for those" aspect). Zombies, on the other (potentially evil) hand, are awesome.
So, yeah, I wasn't overly familiar with the song when my sister gives me the phrase "Zombies Are A Girl's Best Friend" courtesy of Skip cutting out something from a magazine or something. And the only line (melodically) that I really knew was that one, so I immediately started singing it that way. Then I had to learn the rest of the song. And fix the rest of the lyrics. But I am finally finished.


Crass Materialism!

There are many kinds of dead.
Some delight in drinking blood.
But I prefer a man who trips
And drips all sorts of crud.

A bite on the neck
May be quite interdental,
But zombies are a girl's best friend.

A chainsaw for a hand
Can be quite instrumental
When a missing head
Will save you from the Evil Dead.

Corpses grow cold
As they grow old,
And we all decompose in the end.

But shuffling and stumbling,
The best ones are crumbling.
Zombies are a girl's best friend.

Ving Rhames!
Bruce Campbell!
Talk to me George Romero.
Tell me all about it!

There may come a time
When a full moon is shining,
But zombies are a girl's best friend.

There may come a time
When you find yourself pining
For a werewolf pet,
But you'll be likely to regret.

He's got pull
When moons are full,
But all phases must come to an end.

And hey, if you're rotting
There's no time for plotting.
Zombies are a girl's best friend.

I've heard of affairs
That are strictly demonic,
But zombies are a girl's best friend.

There may be a cure
In a potion or tonic
Or light of sun
But if it's fleeting where's the fun?

Time rolls on,
And life is gone,
And rigor mortis won't let you bend.

But stiff back
Or stiff knees,
So long as he's dead, please.

Zombies! Zombies!
I don't mean diamonds!
But zombies are a girl's best friend.
The French are glad to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels.
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels.

A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.

Men grow cold
As girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.

But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These rocks don't loose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Black Starr!
Frost Gorham!
Talk to me Harry Winston.
Tell me all about it!

There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice,
But get that ice or else no dice.

He's your guy
When stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.

It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I've heard of affairs
That are strictly platonic,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

And I think affairs
That you must keep liaisonic
Are better bets
If little pets get big baguettes.

Time rolls on,
And youth is gone,
And you can't straighten up when you bend.

But stiff back
Or stiff knees,
You stand straight at Tiffany's.

Diamonds! Diamonds!
I don't mean rhinestones!
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Marilyn Monroe singing about crass materialism: Words by Jule Styne and music by Leo Robin
Me singing about zombies: Words by me (with help from Shal) and music by Leo Robin except I did it a capella cuz I don't have Archie tech. (And I skipped the talky part cuz it sounds really stupid when I do it.)

fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
This occurred to me a few days ago, and I figure it fits with [livejournal.com profile] rydra_wong's CoC meme, so:
Hoshi Sato is quite possibly the most influential character in all of Star Trek canon.
*cue spit takes*
Say what now?

You know that [plot] device on Star Trek? The one that allows every alien in the entire fucking universe to speak English? That helpful little gizmo that prevents them from having to spend every episode learning a new language? (Way to drop the ball [Ba'al?] on explaining that one, Stargate series.)
Never mind that the idea is impossible; a program that instantly translates a language to English even if it's never been heard before. This is Science Fiction, the believability of the device doesn't change the fact that she fracking invented it, or that everybody on Star Trek uses it pretty much at all times.
And that is why Hoshi Sato is just as important as Zefram Cochrane in terms of creating the basic infrastructure upon which the Trek-verse functions.

Sure, TPTB couldn't seem to decide if she was gonna be meek or a badass (though I, personally, vote badass because, dude, she had Ceti Eels compliance-inducing parasites injected into her head, and not only did she not help the Xindi unlock their big-ass weapon and destroy Earth, she added another layer of encryption. While under the influence of Ceti Eels mind-altering parasites.
Sure, a second dose of Ceti Eels, has her cracking all the codes, but still.)

So, basically, no matter what stupid shit the writers did to the character (UT translation: no matter how bad Enterprise got), she is an awesome badass who allows there to be communication throughout the Trek-verse, and everyone would be screwed without the sometimes space-sick, but totally awesome linguist. And yes, my BA in Linguistics makes me prejudiced in her favor, what of it?

Plus, it's an excuse to post this really pretty picture of Linda Park:

(I also made an icon out of it, but it's not like that was hard-- the original pic is 200x200, so I didn't even have to crop, just resize)
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (who)
And what birthday would be complete without Angry Mutant Squirrels?

Because the actors need concept drawings so they know what they're reacting to )
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (who)
Okay, so the title could use some work, but here's my idea for a cheesetastic SciFi Saturday Original:
Bruce Campbell (who else?) stars as a bitter factory worker who for years has turned a blind eye to the improper chemical disposal the company he works for engages in. Finally, fed up with his job, he decides to squeal to the EPA (the fictional EPA who actually gives a crap). Bruce is about to get fired for his whistle-blowing ways when the Angry Mutant Squirrels (caused by the chemical dumping, obviously) attack!
Meanwhile, the EPA has sent a jaded, but highly-principled agent (played by Sean Patrick Flanery) to investigate. When he gets to the factory, the Angry Mutant Squirrels have overrun the place, and just when it seems like he is doomed to be eaten alive by Angry Mutant Squirrels, Bruce Campbell appears to save him (utilizing various factory implements and tools).
Together, they will face the horde of Angry Mutant Squirrels, and they will be awesome. And also gay. Hey, it's my movie-- besides, I can't stray too far from the formula here. There's usually either the established couple whose relationship is put to the test, or the new couple that forms based on shared near-death experiences. What better place for romance than amidst the onslaught of Angry Mutant Squirrels?
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
Dude, seriously. If you're gonna rip off somebody else's story, you really ought to do a better job of disguising it.

Er-Luke-agon has met what appears to be his unidentified meat product of a Han Solo. In the midst of this, guess who reveals he's a Rider and gets struck down? Ol' Brom Kenobi, that's who. And though he doesn't seem to have quite figured out the becoming-more-powerful-than-you-can-possibly-imagine bit, he does manage to speak from beyond the grave via info he only shared with Saphira (the dragon, or low-calorie Force substitute).

I am going to revise my assessment of King Galbatorix, and raise him up a notch to Emperor Galbatine since his sidekick Darth Morzan is the former owner of the sword Brom Kenobi gave Er-Luke-agon, and Darth Morzan and Brom Kenobi used to be friends before the former was corrupted by Galbatine and had a fight to the death with the latter (presumably taking place over a big honkin' lava pit).
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (highlander)
I'm only a fifth of the way through the book, and I sincerely hope I turn out to be wrong (because as is, I think George Lucas could sue).

So, we open with an elf (who may well be a princess) trying to outrun the agents of an evil empire (which is actually referred to as "the Empire"-- maybe it will be doing some striking back at some point?). She is caught by said agents, but not before she sends the thing they're after to safety. The thing they're after? A blue stone that we later learn is a dragon's egg, but may as well be the plans to the freakin' Death Star.
And where does she send it? Why, to the sparsely inhabited Spine. But it's wintry there! It's nothing like Tatooine! Well, except for that orphaned farm boy being raised by his aunt and uncle.
And obviously, he's the one who finds the plans, er, egg, and has a chat about it with ol' Ben Kenobi, er, Brom the Storyteller, who may or may not be a former Rider (a Jedi by any other name would be as ripped off).
And let's not forget the backstory of the Empire-- long ago Jedis (Riders) used the Force (Dragons) to maintain peace and order, but then one of them went to the Dark Side (or, in this instance, batshit crazy), and thus the evil Empire is ruled by corrupt Riders (a Sith Lord by any other name... you get the idea).
So anyway, back to our orphan farm boy whose mother is sketchy at best, and whose father is so gonna turn out to be King Galbatorix (leader of the evil Empire). If his father is not Lord GalbaVader, I will be pleasantly surprised.
Anyhoodle, GalbaVader's minions go searching for the missing plans to the Death Star, and wind up blowing up the farm and dearest Uncle Owen/Garrow with it (Auntie had already died previously [and he has a cousin!], which makes it so totally different right? Right?).
So now that we've severed all ties to family and home (which I admit, is not limited to Star Wars), let's go on a quest for revenge with old Ben, er, Brom. And this Brom fella, he knows an awful lot about the Riders of yore. Not only is he well-versed in the ways of the Force (he can speak to Eragon's dragon), but he even gives Er-Luke-agon a nifty and powerful sword that used to belong to a Rider. If it turns out Brom is not a former Rider, I will be pleasantly surprised.


fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)

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