fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (Default)
As you bounce the graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish.

fuzzybluemonkeys: (highway)
And I have neither an SUV nor a team of sled dogs (nor a Tonton), I said, "Eh, screw it," fired off an "I'm out today" email to BMR, and went back to bed until 1:30pm (as you do).

In related news, I think I need snow boots.
Yeah, I made it through four years of lake-effect Rochester snow without them, but I'm old and decrepit more mature now, and I like my feet to be dry.
My first instinct would usually be blue, but in this instance, I'm thinking fire engine red.

Now to head out (bootlessly) into the frozen ice planet to dig out my car for tomorrow.
fuzzybluemonkeys: What big eyes you have, the kind of eyes that drive wolves mad (42)

  • My pupils are (now? I don't know if this is a recent development or what) naturally dilated such that I don't need those horrifying eyedrops that take eight tries for them to get in because I always blink because my eyes don't want things in them that are not my eyes.
  • Dude who is about the same prettiness quotient as I am will flirt with me in order to get his commission or whateverthehell on eyeglasses and their protection plan thingies. I eschewed the protection plan because the only time I ever broke a pair of glasses was when I gave them to mom to hold for me (I don't even remember what for, but we were at Rice's), and she proceeded to drop and then step on them. On gravel. Solution? Don't ask mom to hold my glasses. He did talk me into getting prescription sunglasses which I've never had before, so I've basically just gotten used to not wearing sunglasses, so we'll see how that goes. But both frames have pretty blue on them.
  • I didn't learn this one so much as I was reminded, but wow, do I hate malls. With the people and the noise, and it seems open because the ceiling are so high, and yet it somehow manages to be oppressive.
  • Debbie Gibson is a better actress than Tiffany, as eighties pop stars go. But really everybody in Mega Pirahna was just so stiff and generally lacking in oomph. I think the difference is that the folks in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, while not good actors, per se, were in on the joke, but Tiffany & Co. not so much (the joke being that you're in a movie called Mega Pirahna and it is baaaaaad).
  • The force is not with my Phantom Menace poster because it fell down for the bazillionth time (technically early this morning, but it feels like yesterday), and I had to get up from my comfy bed and relocate it because when it falls it covers Bootsie's water and food bowls.
fuzzybluemonkeys: (dorktastic)
Tonight's SyFy Saturday movie is Eragon.
Having suffered throughread the book, I can tell you that not only is it Star Wars With Dragons, it is badly written Star Wars With Dragons.
But here's what makes my ambivalence about whether or not to watch the movie so ridiculous:
a) I've been watching craptastic SciFi/SyFy Originals every week for years now, so it's not like I have taste.
b) I'm 99.9% sure that the movie is going to be better than the book because how could it not be?
c) If nothing else, the special effects are going to be better than your average SyFy Original.
d) If I hadn't read the book, and someone described this movie as "Star Wars with dragons", I'd be intrigued and want to see it.

And yet. And yet, I have this animosity/antipathy towards the entire notion of the thing because in case I wasn't clear, the book is terrible, not so bad it's awesome, not oh it's just that the story/characters weren't appealing to me (I'm looking at you, Children of Men), just flat out bad, and like, seriously, the complete and totally blatant Star Wars ripping off is appalling.

Which leaves me back where I started: To Watch (and of course, to mock mercilessly)? Or Not To Watch (and potentially save myself some rage)?

ETA: I neglected to mention that it's got my most hated trope ever: the Orphan-White-Boy-Child-With-Special-Powers-And-A-Big-Honkin-Destiny
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (dork)
Dude, seriously. If you're gonna rip off somebody else's story, you really ought to do a better job of disguising it.

Er-Luke-agon has met what appears to be his unidentified meat product of a Han Solo. In the midst of this, guess who reveals he's a Rider and gets struck down? Ol' Brom Kenobi, that's who. And though he doesn't seem to have quite figured out the becoming-more-powerful-than-you-can-possibly-imagine bit, he does manage to speak from beyond the grave via info he only shared with Saphira (the dragon, or low-calorie Force substitute).

I am going to revise my assessment of King Galbatorix, and raise him up a notch to Emperor Galbatine since his sidekick Darth Morzan is the former owner of the sword Brom Kenobi gave Er-Luke-agon, and Darth Morzan and Brom Kenobi used to be friends before the former was corrupted by Galbatine and had a fight to the death with the latter (presumably taking place over a big honkin' lava pit).
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (highlander)
I'm only a fifth of the way through the book, and I sincerely hope I turn out to be wrong (because as is, I think George Lucas could sue).

So, we open with an elf (who may well be a princess) trying to outrun the agents of an evil empire (which is actually referred to as "the Empire"-- maybe it will be doing some striking back at some point?). She is caught by said agents, but not before she sends the thing they're after to safety. The thing they're after? A blue stone that we later learn is a dragon's egg, but may as well be the plans to the freakin' Death Star.
And where does she send it? Why, to the sparsely inhabited Spine. But it's wintry there! It's nothing like Tatooine! Well, except for that orphaned farm boy being raised by his aunt and uncle.
And obviously, he's the one who finds the plans, er, egg, and has a chat about it with ol' Ben Kenobi, er, Brom the Storyteller, who may or may not be a former Rider (a Jedi by any other name would be as ripped off).
And let's not forget the backstory of the Empire-- long ago Jedis (Riders) used the Force (Dragons) to maintain peace and order, but then one of them went to the Dark Side (or, in this instance, batshit crazy), and thus the evil Empire is ruled by corrupt Riders (a Sith Lord by any other name... you get the idea).
So anyway, back to our orphan farm boy whose mother is sketchy at best, and whose father is so gonna turn out to be King Galbatorix (leader of the evil Empire). If his father is not Lord GalbaVader, I will be pleasantly surprised.
Anyhoodle, GalbaVader's minions go searching for the missing plans to the Death Star, and wind up blowing up the farm and dearest Uncle Owen/Garrow with it (Auntie had already died previously [and he has a cousin!], which makes it so totally different right? Right?).
So now that we've severed all ties to family and home (which I admit, is not limited to Star Wars), let's go on a quest for revenge with old Ben, er, Brom. And this Brom fella, he knows an awful lot about the Riders of yore. Not only is he well-versed in the ways of the Force (he can speak to Eragon's dragon), but he even gives Er-Luke-agon a nifty and powerful sword that used to belong to a Rider. If it turns out Brom is not a former Rider, I will be pleasantly surprised.
fuzzybluemonkeys: fuzzy blue monkey (highlander)
So, I saw it. It was good. Way better than Attack of the Clones. On par with The Phantom Menace, I guess. But somehow not nearly as exciting. I think it's ruined a bit by the fact that you know that certain things have to happen. I mean Annakin turns to the dark side. Yoda winds up on Degobah. Leia is adopted by Bail Organa of Alderaan. Obi-wan and Luke end up on Tatooine. All the Jedi are exterminated. R2 and 3P0 wind up with the Alderaanians. Chancellor Palpatine of the Republic becomes Emperor Palpatine of the Empire. And I have to pause here to give mad props to Ian McDiarmand who did these awesome subtle things with his voice throughout the movie that were really cool. In addition to becoming Darth Vader, Annakin has to get all burned up and need the suit. I also like the whole reusing of the Revenge of the Jedi title with the more appropriate Sith substitution. I mean the whole thing was cool. But somehow it didn't manage to get me excited. It's not like after The Phantom Menace when I was just like "Wow! That was so awesome!" Someone asked me what I thought of it and I said it was "Beyond words". That sort of feeling was so lacking for this one. I don't know if it's because Attack of the Clones was such a disappointment. Or because it's not the first new Star Wars movie since the 80's. But as much as I enjoyed it, I left the theater feeling a bit like "That was it?"

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