Mama's gonna buy you a beating heart...

[fuzzybluemonkeys]

So sometimes that lullabye about how Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird starts running through my head. The trouble is that I only know the opening lyrics:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird,
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring...

And that is the point where I forget what comes next and start making shit up:

And if that diamond ring should crack,
Mama's gonna buy you a Cadillac,
And if that Cadillac won't start,
Mama's gonna buy you a beating heart,
And if that beating heart should stop,
Mama's gonna buy you a traffic cop,
And if that traffic cop should die,
Mama's gonna buy you an apple pie,
And if that apple pie should rot,
Mama's gonna buy you a cooking pot,
And if that cooking pot should burn,
Mama's gonna buy you a flowered urn,
And if that flowered urn should break,
Mama's gonna buy you a wooden stake,
And if that wooden stake should split,
Mama's gonna buy you a first aid kit,
And if that first aid kit won't heal,
Mama's gonna buy you a spinning wheel,
And if that spinning wheel should prick,
Mama's gonna buy you a fried drumstick,
And if that drumstick clogs your veins,
Mama's gonna buy you a flying plane,
And if that flying plane should crash,
Mama's gonna buy you some V8 Splash,
And if that V8 Splash should spill,
Mama's gonna buy you a daffodil,
And if that daffodil should wilt,
Mama's gonna buy you a highland kilt,
And if that highland kilt should tear,
Mama's gonna buy you a grizzly bear,
And if that grizzly bear won't growl,
Mama's gonna buy you a hooting owl,
And if that hooting owl won't hoot,
Mama's gonna buy you some drugs to shoot,
And if those drugs don't make you high,
Mama's gonna buy you tsetse fly,
And if that tsetse fly should bite...

This is why it's really for the best that what little maternal instincts I have are directed at cats.