Boobies!

[fuzzybluemonkeys]

Okay, so the best part of the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movie they showed on FOX last night was most definitely the naked-except-for-a-strategically-placed-table Daniel Craig.
Hey, I am all about the equal oppurtunity ogling. In fact, I think the folks who are into females got the raw end of the deal. I mean, maybe I'm being all naive in my not-particularly-attracted-to-breasts-anyway-ness, but completely natural Daniel Craig vs. fakoid padded bra for Jolie seems like a bit of a ripoff.
I get that it's because she has a huge rack in the video game, but she never once wears what I consider to be her signature grey tank top/khaki shorts combo, so they weren't that enamoured with the notion of accuracy. I also get that the reason she has balloons in both the game and movie is because of the titillation factor.
But here's the thing: wouldn't it be more titillating to have Jolie's actuals bouncing around onscreen than the rock-solid Boobs of Doom we end up with?
Then again, this movie is quite possibly the most time I have ever spent staring at a woman's chest, and let's face it, there are guys who have bigger breasts than I do, so what do I know?

Comments

[fuzzybluemonkey.livejournal.com]

Well if you can explain to me why a padded bra would be more attractive than Angelina Jolie's actual breasts (which, I mean, she ain't exactly lacking in the cleavage department, right?) that would be good. I mean, there was one scene where they were bouncy, which was very noticable due to the fact that for the rest of the movie they did. not. move. at all.
I suppose they don't move in the video game either (I haven't seen it, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), but at least there it makes sense 'cause that'd be hard to program.
As for the Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! aspect, so long as we confine the conversation to famous people and/or fictional characters, I think you'll be okay.

[fuzzybluemonkey.livejournal.com]

Of course the thing is that Lara Croft is at Barbie levels of anatomical incorrectness in terms of a)falling over and b)if you were that skinny you'd start losing weight in your breasts too, and I know I shouldn't be trying to apply logic to this, but it's all strangely fascinating in an anthropological sort of way. I mean, evolutionarily speaking, breast size==indicator of health, so instinctually the heterosexual male would be attracted to big boobies because that means the woman is healthy, well-fed, and likely to survive to the point of childbirth if not after so that the species can be propagated and so forth.
But now, a lot of the time, big breasts mean that well, you can afford plastic surgery, I guess. So science and technology is like, manipulating instinctual desires all, "That skinny stick woman is nowhere near healthy enough to bear my children, but look at those plastic melons! She must be okay!"
Obviously there are societal double standards and other ooky cultural things in development as well, but none of that will matter when the aliens come and it turns out To Serve Man is a cookbook. And the butcher's assitant is all, "What are these funny bags for?" and the butcher is all, "I dunno, to preserve freshness maybe?"

[fuzzybluemonkey.livejournal.com]

Well that's when it becomes less than purely instinctual, I think, and you have to start adding the crazy cultural crap. I'm not sure, but even if they do plastic surgeries in other countries, I don't think it's nearly as prevelent as it is here in the good ol' US of A. I mean, there are general prejudices against women (and I'm not saying "Woe is me!" here, just accepting reality), but now that we've got women saying, "Like hell I'm gonna stay home and be your maid/breeding farm/possession!" they've become more subversive. The trick is tricking the women into thinking they want to do it.
There are women out there who fully believe that they should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, so that's where they are. The stereotype of feminist as butch man-hating bitch still prevails (this (http://tomatonation.com/?p=677) is a great essay about that). So it's really not that hard to convince women who aren't barefoot and pregnant that they "want" to be "beautiful". Sadly, somewhere along the line, the cultural notion of "beautiful" shifted from "healthy" to "freakish". And it's certainly not new. Corsets, anyone? It's just that now we have the technology (we can rebuild her!) to do so much worse things to our bodies, and it's been drilled into our heads ad naseum that boys like x, y, and z (as seen on TV), and of course, if we want boys to like us, we should conform to their standards instead of realizing that "Hey, you can't have kids without me, jerkwad!"
Which is not to say that it doesn't swing both ways. Guys do all sorts of crazy things to their bodies, too. Of course, they don't have to worry so much about the virginal whore aspect that is woven into so much of this-- you're a slut if you do and a bitch if you don't and oh the boys will love you if you wear all these skimpy revealing clothes you big giant whore who is so totally asking for it.
And it's really like a brainwashing- a cultural indoctrination into communal insanity, and if you stop and take a look around and notice that there's a man behind the fucking curtain, the really sad part is that even if you scream it at the top of your lungs, most of them won't even believe you.

[tobimonkee.livejournal.com]

its the captain and 7 show

[fuzzybluemonkey.livejournal.com]

We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar,
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg,
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit,
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits!