A Few Things
Apr. 17th, 2011 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fuzzybluemonkeysHaving spent yesterday afternoon getting my yearly dosage of the extended paternal family, I need to talktype about some of the things that bug me about them.
-The reaction to Yes, I am bringing my cat to Iowa with me. From my perspective, that's not... optional.
-The reaction to No, I have not actually visited the University of Iowa campus. I was the same way about Rochester: I'm not going for the scenery, I'm going for school.
-My own reaction to cousin Julia, who has Aspergers, and therefore gets away with spending family get-togethers reading a book and not talking to anyone. I do not deny that I resent her, nor do I deny that it's because I am insanely jealous. Because everyone accommodates her and it never even occurred to anyone to accommodate me. When I was kid, I would have killed to have been able to just read at family gatherings. There were even a couple times yesterday when I caught myself staring enviously. And then Aunt Louise is complaining about how Julia says she's happier not socializing, and I find myself trying to point out that that is, in fact, a valid lifestyle choice without mentioning that it is, in fact, my lifestyle choice. I mean, I get the push to make her be able to interact with people enough to be employable. But, you know, I take my anti-anxiety meds, and I go to work, and I deploy my coping mechanisms. And then I spend the majority of my free time hiding out in my apartment with my cat and interacting with people via the buffer provided by the internet because that's what I like to do. So now I'm mad at myself for not admitting that this is how I live and that I'm happier this way. And while I do bust out the occasional [in-person] social interaction, if Julia is happier to not, then that's fine too.
But yeah, as far as family goes, I think I'll stick with my sister and "cousin" Skip.
-The reaction to Yes, I am bringing my cat to Iowa with me. From my perspective, that's not... optional.
-The reaction to No, I have not actually visited the University of Iowa campus. I was the same way about Rochester: I'm not going for the scenery, I'm going for school.
-My own reaction to cousin Julia, who has Aspergers, and therefore gets away with spending family get-togethers reading a book and not talking to anyone. I do not deny that I resent her, nor do I deny that it's because I am insanely jealous. Because everyone accommodates her and it never even occurred to anyone to accommodate me. When I was kid, I would have killed to have been able to just read at family gatherings. There were even a couple times yesterday when I caught myself staring enviously. And then Aunt Louise is complaining about how Julia says she's happier not socializing, and I find myself trying to point out that that is, in fact, a valid lifestyle choice without mentioning that it is, in fact, my lifestyle choice. I mean, I get the push to make her be able to interact with people enough to be employable. But, you know, I take my anti-anxiety meds, and I go to work, and I deploy my coping mechanisms. And then I spend the majority of my free time hiding out in my apartment with my cat and interacting with people via the buffer provided by the internet because that's what I like to do. So now I'm mad at myself for not admitting that this is how I live and that I'm happier this way. And while I do bust out the occasional [in-person] social interaction, if Julia is happier to not, then that's fine too.
But yeah, as far as family goes, I think I'll stick with my sister and "cousin" Skip.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-17 10:15 pm (UTC)why would you need to see it you know its there i mean i visited most of the schools i aplied to but that was mostly a get interested in the idea of college and meet peps thing theres no reason you have to visit especialy when its that far away
i think most of my juia issues are displaced splat issues cuz she make me bitter about peps who get away with crap for medica reasons by always makeing up a new medical reason when she did not get her way but as far as th reading at family getherings the ony dif between you and juia is the fancy lable and im not saying she should nto be alowed but that you should have been alowed to (but those brats get away with a ton of other crap we were never allowed to do at all so its prob not even all cuz of the asbergers)
just us and the "cousins" is a better plan
no subject
Date: 2011-04-17 11:40 pm (UTC)Yeah, I went to Rochester beforehand cuz PUs wanted to see it/made me, but it's not like that helped any in terms of finding things cuz you go and it's all overwhelming rather than okay I need to go here for this class, etc.
I think I'm more frustrated with the world and its social expectations than I am with Julia per se, but she winds up being the inadvertant avatar of those issues.